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What's your IQ?

Have you ever been asked that question as if most of us walk around with that IQ number at the forefront of our mind?

Many of us are unaware of what our IQ (intelligence quotient) number is and quite honestly could care less. While I do believe it’s important to be book smart, street wise

and have good common sense, I also believe there are other forms of intelligence that are just as important, if not more important than our overall IQ. Yep, you got it… our emotional and relational intelligence!

Until a few years ago I had never heard these terms used regularly. Now, I find myself evaluating my own, as well as others’, emotional and relational intelligence. I pay close attention to how I interact with others and vice versa. I believe self-assessment and reflection is not only important in my coaching but also in my personal relationships. Even as a child I’ve always been in tune with my emotions and how they play a role in my interactions with others.

So, what's the difference between Emotional Intelligence and Relational Intelligence?

Let’s take a look…

Emotionally intelligent people possess:

  • Self-awareness: Recognizing and understanding their own emotions.

  • Self-regulation: Managing and controlling their emotional responses.

  • Motivation: Channeling emotions to achieve goals.

  • Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

  • Social Skills: Navigating social situations effectively.

Okay… that sounds good. Take a minute to consider these traits and assess how emotionally

intelligent you are…. (wink)

Now, let’s define relational intelligence…

Relationally intelligent people possess:

  • Social Awareness: Being attuned to social dynamics and cues.

  • Communication Skills: Effectively expressing themselves and understanding others.

  • Conflict Resolution Skills: Addressing and resolving conflicts in relationships.

  • Building Connections: Establishing and maintaining positive relationships.

  • Interpersonal Influence: The ability to persuade and influence others positively.

Key difference between the two is that emotional intelligence focuses on emotions and their

impact on relationships. It’s important for us to be honest with ourselves and our comfortability by identifying, acknowledging, and communicating our emotions in life and especially as we grieve. Both your emotional and relational intelligence will play a key part in your ability to move forward on your journey towards healing.

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